WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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