The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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