im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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