that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
