Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
