SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
