i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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