HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
