my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
