smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
