I don't think brook has ever known best
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
