Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
