i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
