I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
