hell yes lets make some ravioli
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
