just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize