Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
