Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
