thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
