Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
