barbara walters just said penis...
We named our party play list daddy issues
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
