Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
two words...techno handjob
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Randomize
