I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
