So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
