I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
