So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Dick very happy bro
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
