imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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