just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
