it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize