you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
