It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
