Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
