So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
