She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
