This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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