We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
