Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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