Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
