If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
