tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize