dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize