So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
the raccoons are back...
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
