you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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