yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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