how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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