I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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