we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
