Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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