you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
