i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
