She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
cat food counts as protein by the way
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
