How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize