Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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