This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
