i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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