Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
