their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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